Ahhhh it's been a surreal week to say the least. It was exactly one week ago when I finally drilled into my head 'Tomorrow I shall finally film!' Since then I've been congratulated, insulted and growing into a person I want to become. So I thought I'd write down on here how I felt and the responses I've been getting.It was honestly one of those 'epiphany' moments, where I was laying in bed monday night and just said to myself
'just film tomorrow'
'im going to film tomorrow'
Just kept telling myself before I eventually fell asleep, I'm going to do it!!! So I woke up wanting to film a vlog type video as a icebreaker for my viewers who don't know me, explaining who I was, why I wanted to start YouTube etc etc. But I was nowhere near confident to wake up and just film, it wasn't second nature to me just yet and there was NO way I was going to film outside and especially in front of strangers!!! I set up a DIY tripod with books upon books and balanced my phone on top of my books and just filmed. During I was fine as I was just doing my makeup like normal but my god I was soooo nervous when I had to film my intro. It took me 5/6 times to film one I was happy with (all the outtakes I'm going to save for a future video) I dont think anyone actually realises how nerve racking it is to just talk to a camera. I got more confident when I filmed my voice overs and when it was finally ready to upload, a massive wave of anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I then started to doubt myself, I started to create nasty comments people would leave on my videos in my head and I started to really panic.
It started to upload then it was final. I filled all my bio out and put it into a playlist and I just watch my screen.. Honestly I was the most nervous I've ever been. I was about to put myself out on the internet and was self exposing myself to anyone and everyone in the world. I eventually uploaded it and posted on my Instagram that I'd finally done something that I knew was going to make me so incredibly happy. I switched all media off from my phone and laptop and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I literally peed so many times until my sister messaged me about it so I facetimed her and my mum and they were so proud!! Mum has always said I should start a beauty channel because in her eyes I am the best at makeup hahahaha how she is so wrong, but it did put my mind at ease and I knew all my friends who have known for ages that I've wanted to do a channel would be so supportive and I was right. I've has the most amazing response from my friends and also a few on internet friends have said they're so proud of me.
The fulfilment I got after uploading that first video was really overwhelming. I finally felt like I had a purpose in my life apart from working a part time job in a restaurant. I was finally working towards my goals and really getting myself excited for sharing my passion for makeup online and hopefully teaching a few people the tips and tricks I've learnt. I have such a passion for teaching and helping other people, so the fact I'd be teaching people my love and obsession for makeup really is a dream come true. My blog is something I'm going to do alongside from my YouTube and isn't going to abandoned now I'm going YouTube as I really do love writing as well as creating visual content. It's going to be a challenge to juggle all this and uni but with a correct routine i'm more than focused to make this work and really get what I want out of life.
Since uploading I've had a few people message me saying I've inspired them to create blogs and to create content on YouTube and this literally fills my heart so so much! The fact me putting myself out there and really jumping into deep water as inspired and given people the confidence to create content makes me the happiest ever! If people can get the same if not more happiness and fulfillment out of doing this as a hobby I'm all for it! There are so many bitter people around that get in the hump about people 'copying' them is ridiculous. We should as humans be happy and proud that we have similar interests and can all give different content for people to enjoy. So if you're ever thinking of wanting to create content because you want to be creative then 1000000% go for it!!!!
One piece of advice is to never compare your chapter one to somebody's chapter ten. Always focus on your content and don't get frustrated that your content isn't as good as someone with 300,000 subscribers. This is a journey and you need to love every minute of it and love that you're growing because seeing your own growth is the most amazing thing and you'll be so proud of yourself!
If anyone has any questions or advice on starting a YouTube, please don't hesitate to ask me. Drop me a message or if you don't want your identity shown click the link in my bio and ask me via CuriousCat.
Love you all so much princesses and princes
Ellie x
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